30th April 2016 Portland

Apologies for not writing last week but I've been busy. Bea is away in Holland right now so I'm a single doggy parent for two weeks. This week's walk came about because I was going to see Noel Gallagher in Bournemouth. I thought rather than putting Chuck in a kennel for the weekend I could take him with me and he could just stay somewhere overnight whilst I went to see the gig. I had a look where we could go walking on the way and spotted Portland.

We walked anticlockwise. Distance with wrong turns was about 12 miles.

I remembered an animation from my childhood called Portland Bill and assumed it would be an idyllic old fashioned island. I bought the local map online but unfortunately it did not arrive on time. This was an inauspicious beginning and should have been seen as a portent. I printed off a makeshift map from Google and thought 'how hard can it be walking round an island? Just keep the sea on the same side at all times'.

Chuck can find a stick anywhere.

The car parks on Portland are fairly reasonable at £6.50 for the whole day. I, however, found there was plenty of free parking on the industrial estate just off the roundabout as you get onto the island. Yes you have to walk a little bit further but isn't that what I'm doing anyway? We parked in the car park of a sixth form college as there were no signs saying I couldn't. First impressions were not that great. The town of Fortuneswell is of the 1960s concrete council house variety. Not the pretty little fishing village I expected. The beach was a huge mound of pebbles which was unpleasant to walk on.

Cliffs are not safe for free running dogs.

As we climbed steeply out of the town something else reared it's head that I hadn't taken into account. The cliffs round the island were very high. Far too high to let Chuck run off the lead. As good a boy as he is, it's difficult to explain to dog what 'high up' and 'fall off' mean. At the top of the first cliff there is an old quarry that features some sculptures. Well, that's how it's billed. Really it's just a pile of rocks. Not much to see apart from litter, of which there was plenty.

The quarry. As interesting as it gets.

I decided to walk down the road into the next town as it was quite windy on top of the cliff. We passed another industrial estate which smelled like CS gas, the stuff used in riot control. There was a cool old fashioned cemetery which I imagine would look quite creepy at night. But this was the highlight. We passed the outskirts of Easton, which seems to be the primary town on the island. Again this was another concrete jungle. A paeon to when Britain was a communist country and no patch of land was sacred enough to escape the concrete pourers.

The creepy cemetery. May feature ghoulies after dark.

Portland really was turning out to be a great disappointment. With another industrial estate looming up ahead I seriously considered just turning around and heading back to the car. However, the clouds began to part and in the distance I could see a lighthouse, the aforementioned portland Bill. So on we cracked. 

Beautiful little fishing village?

Judging from the car park it appears most visitors drive straight to this end of the island. The lighthouse is quite impressive and the land is much closer to sea level down here. Chuck finally got off the lead, much to his relief. I had some cheesy chips from the cafe which were quite expensive at £3.95 but were reasonably generous. There really wasn't a great deal to see or do down here, so we set off back along the east side towards the car.

Portland Bill lighthouse. What folk come to see.

Thankfully the concrete had not found this side of the island and as the sun started to beat down it reminded me a lot of Cyprus with grass. There were some impressive rock formations carved out by the sea, which was a deep azure blue. It was heavenly. It really was chalk and cheese compared with the other side. Dotted along the rocks are various rusty old cranes which remarkably are still used to lower boats into the sea. The path ascended back onto the road and we passed through the village of Southwell which was more like the pretty fishing village I had been expecting. 

Load test certificate? Er, I forgot it.

Back on the cliff path we came down to a secluded beach where some people were sea kayaking. I imagine this must be a fantastic way to see the island. There are plenty of caves to explore in the rocks. Be aware there is quite a tricky descent to the beach just after the viewpoint at Cheyne Wears car park. Grippy boots are a must. After the beach there is a steep climb back up to Rufus Castle. This is more of a tower than a castle but it gives the area quite a mediterranean feel in the sunlight.

A good way to get about.

We followed a path back into Easton which is also far nicer on the east side than the west. We stopped in a pub called The Punchbowl Inn. It was a good basic local boozer. Everyone in there seemed to know each other and the jukebox was blasting out some 70s rock classics. Everybody loved Chuck of course.

Castle Rufus. Used to be bigger.

The next part of the walk took us around the young offenders institute. This stoic building lends a Gibraltan air to proceedings. The cliff path here was sign posted down a steep cliff. We got all the way to the bottom and met some people coming the other way who told me that it was dead end. Great. So back up the cliff we went. We carried along the road a bit where we saw a 'Coast Path Diversion' sign. I find diversion signs are best place before the diversion. Is it just me?

Looking back over where we didn't need to go.

The next feature of the walk was an impressive Victorian fort. Unfortunately, as we were nearly back at Fortuneswell again it was strewn with litter and graffiti. This was a real shame. This could be made into a tourist attraction with a bit of effort. I'm sure there is a wealth of history here. 

Victorian fort. 21st century graffiti and litter.

As we dropped back down towards the car I couldn't help but think what a shame the 60s town planners happened to Portland. There are so many thriving, pretty towns on the south coast, this place could be a mediterranean type retreat an hour from the capital. Instead it was dumped on by socialists in the name of progress. Go to Portland and spend your tourist pounds there. It deserves better. Just stick to the east side and ignore all the litter.